Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
