wanna go halves on a baby?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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