I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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