Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize