I have demons in me.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize