If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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