she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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