if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
