Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
