not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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