oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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