Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
