The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
