Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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