She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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