omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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