Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she told me i tasted like america
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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