It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
