it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
