the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
