how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
