I am puke
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
