I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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