Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
