Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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