Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
