I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
