5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
