I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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