I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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