hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
