I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
