The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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