The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
