she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
