yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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