there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
