I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
