so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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