I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You made out with two different species that night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
