Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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