Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
