Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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