So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
