Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
