from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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