so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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