When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.