so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
