I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize