I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
