Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize