i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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