fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
