well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
