Whats the glycemic index on semen?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
