things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
