I didn't shave. On purpose
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize