dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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