Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize