I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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