A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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