she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
