the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
